Below are some books that have helped some of us on our journey. We have also included a section which will let you review the book for others who may want to use it. Anam Cara is in the process of setting up a Library as some of these books may be difficult to come across. You are very welcome to contact us and we can forward them on to you.
Specific Books for Bereaved Parents 'A Broken Heart Still Beats' Anne McCracken and Mary Semal
A collection of poetry, fiction and essays compiled by a journalist and a social worker, both of whom have lost a child. This book explores the shock, the grief and the search for meaning that come with the death of a child.
Reader Review "This book brought me comfort, it is filled with empathy and understanding and I realised that some of the feelings and thoughts I have had since Rachel has died were normal, I felt I was not alone in my grief and any time I wanted to be with someone who had lost a child all I had to do was pick up the book and chose a passage to read." Sharon Vard
'The Worst Loss - How families heal from the death of a child' Barbara D. Rosof
The Worst Loss will help families who have experienced the death of a child to know what they are facing, understand what they are feeling and appreciate their own needs and timetables.
'Beyond Tears' Ellen Mitchell The death of a child is an unimaginable loss no parent ever expects to face. In Beyond Tears, nine mothers share their individual stories of how to survive in the darkest hour. They candidly share with other grieving parents what to expect in the first year and long beyond: Harmonious relationships.
There is a new definition of what one considers "normal" The question "how many children to you have?" can be devastating Mothers and fathers mourn and cope differently. There simply is no answer to the question "why?". This sharing in itself is a catharsis and because each of these mothers lost her child at least seven years ago, she is in a unique position to provide perspective on what newly bereaved parents can expect to feel.
The mothers of Beyond Tears offer reassurance that the clouds of grief do lessen with time and that grieving parents will find a way to live, and even laugh again.
'Sad Book' Michael Rosen
We all have sad stuff - maybe you have some right now, as you read this. What makes Michael Rosen most sad is thinking about his son, Eddie, who died. In this book he writes about his sadness, how it affects him and some of the things he does to try to cope with it. Whether or not you have known what it's like to feel really deeply sad, its truth will surely touch you. Michael Rosen Interview
'Empty Cradle, Broken Heart: Surviving the Death of Your Baby' Deborah L. Davis
I bought this book after our fourth child lived only for eleven hours after birth at term three months ago. I found it helpful to know that people do grieve in roughly the same way and that my responses were normal. Also, that the unhelpful way in which other people sometimes respond to me is also common. The book is well laid out and there is not too much emphasis on the formalities which have to take place after a baby dies.
'Someone To Talk To' - A Handbook on Childhood Bereavement. BARNARDOS Ref: ISBN 1 898662 58 4
Death is a natural part of life. We cannot protect children and young people from the reality of it happpening in their lives. What we can do however is accompany them on their journey through grief with informed support, information and encouragement. This handbook is a useful tool in the process, providing readily accessible, user-friendly information on a wide range of aspects of grief.
Rachel’s Story is an honest and moving account of how one family dealt with the death of a child. It begins with some special memories of Rachel and goes on to describe what happened to her from the time she first got sick, to her stay in Limerick and Temple Street Hospitals and finally her death. The effect that her funeral had on the family and the way they coped with this traumatic time is also dealt with. Finally, the journey that the family have made together following the loss of a sister and daughter and their acceptance that time moves on, is movingly recounted for the reader.
Grandparents Cry Twice: Help for Bereaved Grandparents" is a book about grandparents' dual sorrow when a grandchild dies. They cry for their lost grandchild and they also cry for the terrible grief they see their own child having to bear. The author, Mary Lou Reed, writes of her experiences when her beloved grandson, Alex, died. Through her personal story she touches the universal in all grandparents' grief.
'The Courage to Grieve' by Judy Tatelbaum Vermillion ISBN-10: 0749309369
Although this book emphasises the response to bereavement, it aims to help with all kinds of loss and grief, exploring intense and uncomfortable emotions such as sorrow, guilt, loneliness, resentment, confusion, and the temporary loss of the will to live. There is advice on how to help oneself and others to get through the immediate experience of death and the grief that follows, as well as how to understand the special grief of children.
'When A Child Dies: Footsteps of a Grieving Family' Jim O'Shea ISBN-10: 1847300782
This book will be of great help to siblings as well as to parents of bereaved children. by children I incluse adult children of any age, as well as children who die in the womb, infants, preteens and teenagers. This is one of the few books that gives a voice to siblings. all my surviving children wrote for this book, and contemporary diaries are used. Generally the focus is on the bereaved parents, and the pain and suffering of siblings often goes unnoticed. this book shows how deep and longlasting this suffering is.
'Longing for My Child: Reflections for Parents and Siblings After a Child's Death' by Christine O'Keeffe ISBN-10: 0829417540
The death of a child leaves parents, siblings, relatives, and friends devastated by a life lost too soon. In a series of touching profiles written by parents and siblings, the lives of infants, children, teenagers, and adult children are remembered and celebrated. Accompanying meditations address the various stages of grief and recount the real experiences of those living through them.
'Always with You' Gloria Hunniford
On April 13th, 2004 Gloria Hunnifords 41 year old daughter, Caron Keating, died after a secret seven year battle with cancer. The world that had changed with Caron's diagnosis, now shattered. Life had been cruelly interrupted, a black hole opened in Glorias heart, she was consumed with the unimaginable grief that the loss of a child brings and she was alone. Or so she felt. Within days of Caron's death letters started to arrive. People who had lost their children felt compelled to write. Strangers understood what she was going through often more than the family and friends standing next to her. There were many, many dark days but the letters kept coming and somehow she managed to do the impossible. Wake up everyday, get out of bed, breath. The black hole is still there, sometimes as big as ever, but she has found a way to live with it, around it. This is the story of how Gloria and her family survived Carons death, but it is not only her story. It is written for those who held her while she raged. It is written for all those people who helped her through that first terrible year by writing, but mostly it is written for the many thousands who didnt.Grief is lonely, but as this book shows, you are not alone.
Death affects us all at some point. Gloria will never again be the carefree woman she once was, the loss of a loved one is always with you, but so are the living This is how she found her way back to them.
Specific Books for Bereaved Brothers and Sisters 'The Heavenly Village' Cynthia Rylant
Cynthia Rylant has constructed a wonderful little story rich in meaning and feeling, designed for children but wonderful for adults, touching and sad, helpful and hopeful, giving an account of those who are not quite ready for heaven.
'Water Bugs and Dragon Flies' Author Doris Stickney (1996) Mowbray
Beautifully illustrated, a lovely prayer at the end of the book with the option to put the name of the deceased in. This book would make a nice keepsake for a child to remember the loved one that died.
'Badgers Parting Gifts' Author Doris Stickney (1996) Mowbray
An excellent book which is enjoyable to simply read but is most useful in using as a tool to introduce young children to the idea of mortality. It really helped to get across quite difficult ideas such as the fact that memories of shared times can keep someone alive.
'What on Earth Do You Do When Someone Dies?' Trevor Romain & Elizabeth Verdick
This book is great for children - it cover those delicate questions about death and what happens after a death. Well worth a buy, if you are a bereavement counsellor, teacher, doctor or parent, you should have this book. Using plain simple language that kids understand, this book is brilliant.
'Before You Sleep' TBenji Bennett & Illustrated by Roxanne Burchartz
"I love you much more than the sun, moon and stars, even much more that the red planet Mars".
"Before You Sleep” is an affectionate and wonderfully illustrated children’s bedtime story book filled with warmth, love and adventure and emphasises the importance of love, laughter and play within the family. Supporting Barretstown children’s charity this must- have treasure offers parents a unique opportunity to enter the fascinating world of a child and express their love for their child through a series of magical adventures, powerful verse and imaginative illustrations Available to buy on www.adamsprintingpress.ie
"Every household should have this book" Mark Cagney Ireland AM, 12th September 2008, TV3
"I got a copy of your first book "Before You Sleep" from my cousin and to say that I was blown away would be an understatement." Aisling Ni Dhoibhilin
Podcast Ryan Tubridy Show - 29th Setember 2008
Other Recommended Reading
'Anam Cara'
John O Donoghue - Bantam Press
A collection of poetry, fiction and essays compiled by a journalist and a social worker, both of whom have lost a child. This book explores the shock, the grief and the search for meaning that come with the death of a child.
Reader Review
"The name Anam Cara is relating to the idea that we are all Soul Friends, the book is lovely and John O'Donoghue explains how your Anam Cara understands and knows how you are feeling, with your Anam Cara you can be yourself... I think that is how I feel when we are together as bereaved parents, there is no pretense, we can say what we really feel!"
'Someone To Talk To' - A Handbook on Childhood Bereavement.
'Rachel's Story'
'Grandparents Cry Twice'
